Friday, July 18, 2014

Day 5

Today is the beginning of my weekend so I decided to really work.  I wanted to go on a bike ride thru the neighborhood, and if you know the terrain of my neighborhood you would know that is no easy feat.  I live an area known for it's hills, and defying physics, it is all uphill as I found out.  First thing I had to do was get one of those team bicycle racing outfits. Not sure why, but by what I've seen over the last 10 years, you have to wear one to be allowed to ride on the road.  Unfortunately I've never seen one in ANY stores I have shopped in, so I figured I would just have to break the law and ride in normal clothes like I did when I was a kid.  I went out to the garage to find a bike that I know I have. The only reason I know I had one is because I've moved it from house to house over the years.  Of course the tires were flat, so I prayed to God for a new one.  After a few minutes of praying I remembered that that is not how He works.  So I stole a neighbor's bike and asked for forgiveness.  God is good!

After starting out on the first hill, I thought, maybe I should just park under this tree for an hour or so and then coast back down to my house.  Maybe run thru a sprinkler to make it look like I was sweating so my wife would really think I did the ride.  While thinking about that great plan, I kept hearing a small voice reminding me why I should push on.  It was my neighbor kid wanting his bike back and his dad right behind him.  Fortunately I've been taking Catalyst (helps burn fat and protect muscle) while on this 24 day challenge so I had enough strength the stay ahead of them long enough for them to give up.

Thirty minutes into the ride I thought, I should have given the bike back, and where the heck is the down hill portion of this ride?  Forty five minus into the ride I see the crest of a hill, I'm almost there, but then something weird started to happen.  Things started to get blurry and and cloudy.  I start to feel it getting easier and easier to pedal up the hill and then I hear it.  I hear a loud booming voice saying "You stole that bike and you will pay for that!"  Just at that time I felt like I was thrown down a hill at breakneck speed.  I knew I should have given that bike back, and I felt great remorse.  I soon slowed my decent and things became clearer.  My shirt was saturated with tears, sweat, and vomit form the bike ride.  I realized I was in front of my neighbor's house now so I dropped the bike and stumbled home.  About at the door, I hear the loud booming voice again saying "This is the police, you need to stop!"

I'm posting this while waiting to be booked.  I hope the judge can be bribed with some Spark.

Jim Pogue

1 comment:

  1. Again I chuckle! Are you sure this stuff isn't doing something to your brain cells? And that poor neighbor kids, traumatized for life.........